We all want to be close to our loved one, but beware when your partner asks you to spend more time with them.
It’s true, some couples would really benefit by finding a way to make their relationship more of a priority. It is absolutely essential to spend quality time together, but it is equally important to spend time doing whatever it is that makes you happy.
Alone time comes first, so that you naturally have more to give to your relationship.
That being said, if you’re going to be together happily, couple time is also essential.
Ideally, your time on your own should leave you energized and genuinely wanting to hang out together.
To make this possible, make sure that your alone time is spent doing something revitalizing, then spend time together. You will get so much more from your interactions this way; more laughter, a stronger sense of love and greater intimacy.
Feeling obligated to hang out as a couple doesn’t work. We need to desire our shared time together. When you come together through desire, both of you win!
Since life is busy, even though couple time needs to be desired, scheduling the time works best so that it is given the priority it deserves. Don’t let this time be changed when other things come up. Instead honour these dates.
The idea of your partner wanting to spend more time with you (or perhaps it’s you wanting to spend more time with your partner) is described wonderfully in Aesop’s fable of the Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs. The story is about a couple that find a goose that lays golden eggs. Over time, they end up wanting more than just the one golden egg per day!
So, they decide to cut the goose open and lo and behold they now have nothing as the goose is now dead, and there is no gold inside. The goose developed the golden egg from scratch daily. The moral is that those who want too much lose everything.
You see, like the goose, you need to develop your happiness and tend to your well-being daily otherwise it just doesn’t exist. Your partner doesn’t necessarily understand that you are like the golden goose. By this, I mean that when you are available and happy to be there, your partner doesn’t always think about the fact that you’re so fun to be with because you make yourself a priority and without this time you won’t be as vibrant and energetically attractive.
In order to be a great partner and have an enjoyable time when you’re together, you need to ensure that you’ve taken the time to fill yourself up first!
You are in charge of your own life and responsible for your happiness and well-being. It is your responsibility to make sure that all of your needs are met and that you are energetic and happy. Then, you are able to truly give your partner the time and energy that you have, when you have it.
Often your partner wants even more of you than you have to offer because your company is so great!
It’s easy for your partner to lose sight of the fact that you are in fact so delightful to be around because you make the effort to spend time doing all of the things that make you feel happy and balanced. ~ Susan Blackburn
To take you away from those things and demand more of your time, leaves you uninteresting and average, because you’ve let go of the very activities, passions and friendships you need to energized and balanced.
Many couples find it helpful to negotiate weekly alone time and together time so that the expectations are clear. For example, you might decide to have two evenings of alone or time with friends and one date night where you do something engaging and fun together weekly.
So, be true to yourself and offer your partner the very best of you. This means sometimes having to say no. But, wow… when you are available, the time you spend together will be amazing and will always be worth it’s weight in gold.