Susan Blackburn Psychology

Spending Time Together

So, your partner is complaining that they don’t see enough of you. We all want to be closer to our loved one, but beware when your partner asks you to spend more time with them.

It’s true, some couples would really benefit by finding a way to make their relationship more of a priority. It is absolutely essential to spend quality time together, but it is equally important to spend time doing whatever it is that makes you happy. This comes first actually.

Make sure you spend the time you need to get yourself in a place of high energy and then spend time together. You will get so much more from your interactions this way; more laughter, stronger sense of love and greater intimacy. Feeling obligated to hang out as a couple doesn’t work. We need to desire our shared time together. When you come together through desire, both of you win!

This idea is described wonderfully in Aesop’s fable of the Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs. The story is about a man and his wife who find a goose that lays golden eggs. Over time, they end up wanting more than just the one golden egg per day! So, they decide to cut the goose open and lo and behold they now have nothing as the goose is now dead, and there is no gold inside. The goose developed the golden egg from scratch daily. The moral is that those who want too much lose everything.

You see, like the goose, you need to develop your happiness and tend to your well-being daily otherwise it just doesn’t exist. Your partner doesn’t necessarily understand that you are like the golden goose. By this, I mean that when you are available and happy to be there, this is what your partner really wants. Your partner really wants a happy and balanced companion. In order to keep feeling this way, you need to ensure that you’ve taken the time to fill yourself up first!

You are in charge of your own life and responsible for your happiness and well-being. It is your responsibility to make sure that all of your needs are met and that you are energetic and joyous. In this state, you are able to truly give your partner the time and energy that you have, when you have it.

Often your partner wants even more of you than you have to offer because your company is so great! He or she loses sight of the fact that you are in fact so delightful to be around because you make the effort to spend time doing all of the things that make you feel happy and balanced. To take you away from those things and demand more of your time, leaves you uninteresting and average because you’ve let go of the very activities, pastimes and people you need to leave you feeling connected and whole. So, be true to yourself and offer your partner the very best of you. This means sometimes having to say no. But, wow… when you are available, the time you spend together will be amazing and will always be worth its weight in gold.

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Susan Blackburn

Susan Blackburn

About Susan Blackburn:

Susan Blackburn, M.A., C.Psych. is a Registered Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Therapist in Toronto at Yonge Eglinton, a Published Author and a guest Relationship Expert on radio and television.

Susan enjoys working with people to enhance the quality of their lives. Her collaborative psychotherapy and counselling approach offers clients effective tools and strategies to increase happiness, manage stress, find balance, improve confidence, embrace self care and focus on the positive so that they can relax and enjoy life.

Services are covered under most extended health benefits and workplace insurance plans requiring clients be seen by a Registered Psychologist through her registration with the College of Psychologists of Ontario.

Susan is the owner of Susan Blackburn Psychology a boutique therapy private practice located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.

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