Susan Blackburn Psychology

Should You Stay or Go?

Do you feel as though you’re at a crossroads in your relationship?

Are you unsure whether you should stay and work it out or cut your losses and move on?

This is a challenging place to be in and unfortunately most people will have this choice to make at some time or another.

The decision to ‘end your relationship or not’ is important and often difficult. It’s something you want to make sure you do with clear intentions.

By clear intentions I’m referring to getting yourself centered and balanced so that your heart and mind are in alignment rather than at war with one another.

Wondering whether you should stay or call it quits often results in an emotional tug-of-war of epic proportions.

It can appear as confusion, feeling overwhelmed, being depressed and finding yourself scattered mentally. It can leave you feeling jangled to the point that you start running red lights and stops signs when it really gets out of hand.

So, the first step in deciding whether you should stay or go is finding clarity.

A decision such as this is impossible to make when you can’t think straight.

How exactly do you find clarity and peace of mind then?

It’s time for you to get still.

Start to meditate, do yoga, spend time in nature, get some distance from your partner, journal, eat healthily, laugh, relax, state positive affirmations, start and end each day with gratitude, surrender the timing of this decision and start taking control of your life (money, friendships, health, home, family, career etc.).

Doing these things will open your heart and bring it into harmony with your mind. The decisionto stay or go is not an intellectual one, but an intuitive one. Your heart is your best guide.

When you get still and clean your life up your heart and mind will guide you in answering the following questions:

“Do I make myself a priority?”

“Are my relationship expectations bringing us closer together or further apart?”

“Am I treated with kindness and respect?”

“Do I know how to say no with warmth and consideration?”

“Am I a joy to be around?”

“Do I feel comfortable speaking the truth in a way it can be heard?”

“Do I communicate in a manner that builds trust and cooperation?”

“Why am I putting up with this heartache?”

“Do I have strong boundaries that protect my integrity, while making emotional intimacy safe?”

An open heart combined with self-protective strengths will give you the courage you need to discover whether the relationship you’re in is where you belong or whether you and your partner are traveling two different roads.

Often, when you change your partner will too.

Whether you stay or go there is always inner work to be done first to find your quiet strength and answers within.

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Susan Blackburn

Susan Blackburn

About Susan Blackburn:

Susan Blackburn, M.A., C.Psych. is a Registered Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Therapist in Toronto at Yonge Eglinton, a Published Author and a guest Relationship Expert on radio and television.

Susan enjoys working with people to enhance the quality of their lives. Her collaborative psychotherapy and counselling approach offers clients effective tools and strategies to increase happiness, manage stress, find balance, improve confidence, embrace self care and focus on the positive so that they can relax and enjoy life.

Services are covered under most extended health benefits and workplace insurance plans requiring clients be seen by a Registered Psychologist through her registration with the College of Psychologists of Ontario.

Susan is the owner of Susan Blackburn Psychology a boutique therapy private practice located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.

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