Choosing a Life Partner

The person you choose to partner with for life is one of the most important decisions you will ever make.

Your choice of life mate will impact every aspect of your being. It will influence your happiness, career success, health, finances, children, friends and family, so it’s not a decision you want to take lightly.

Choosing someone that brings out the best in you and adds a sense of joy and ease to your life is essential to your emotional and physical well being.

Many people put an emphasis on the practical aspect of choosing the right long-term partner. These practical matters are founded in logic and include qualities like status, profession, income and sophistication. In other words, your significant other looks good “on paper”.

african american couple flirting

On the other end of the spectrum, people concentrate on the impractical traits involved in selecting the right person. Impractical matters are governed by the heart and consist of relationship traits such as fun, adventure, romance, having a soulmate connection and being in love.

When the you base your decision almost entirely on the practical or on the impractical the odds are pretty great that you will choose someone that won’t end up being the best choice.

Why is that?

Like most things in life, it’s the balance of both that brings real success whether it be in terms of choosing the ideal mate or anything else in life.

Choosing a partner whose characteristics strike a balance between the practical and the impractical is essential.

Ultimately, it’s the wisdom of your mind, otherwise known as the practical, in combination with the intelligence of your heart, also referred to as the impractical that will allow you to make the ultimate decision.

The following life partner qualities represent the mind’s wisdom with that of the heart for a lifetime of success in love:

Responsibility: being accountable to one’s self and others in all aspects of life

Generousity: the ability and willingness to give unselfishly in what is said and done

Kindness: true kindness is being authentic and compassionate toward one’s self and others

Chemistry: an undeniable spark or attraction that exists between two people

Shared Values: compatible core beliefs about yourself, others and life in general

Integrity: doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances

Self Awareness: knowing your strengths, weaknesses, thoughts and motivations

Loyalty: being consistently devoted to your partner and the relationship

Shared Goals: having common goals, aspirations and dreams

In order to make the best possible decision you will need be patient and conduct a thorough intellectual and emotional evaluation. In the end it will be well worth your time and effort; when you choose well you can expect to admire and respect your partner for a lifetime.

About Susan Blackburn:
Susan Blackburn, M.A. is an Individual Psychotherapist, Couples Counsellor & Marriage Therapist, a Published Author and a guest Relationship Expert on radio and television.
Susan is passionate about working with individuals and couples to improve the quality of their lives. Her collaborative psychotherapy and counselling approach offers clients effective tools and strategies to overcome relationship issues, low self-esteem, depression, stress, anxiety and other challenges so that they can attain increased confidence, work/life balance and greater happiness.
She also provides psychological services covered by extended health benefits and workplace insurance requiring clients be seen by a Registered Psychologist through her clinical supervision with Dr. Richard Wood, C. Psych.
Susan’s private practice is located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.


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