- He wants to make you happy. Make it easy for him by being appreciative of all of his contributions.
- He needs you to make it safe for him to open up by showing that you can be vulnerable with your own feelings and desires first.
- If you want your man to talk more, spend a lot more time listening. When there’s a pause someone has to speak first… don’t let it be you.
- Being interested is an art, if he is passionate about something and the subject doesn’t interest you, find a way to make the fact that he likes it of interest to you.
- Men don’t want to be told what to do, but he wants to be told what you like and don’t like in a kind and respectful way.
- Men express their strongest feelings through the act of making love.
- Don’t compete with him. You should have plenty of other areas to shine in on your own.
- Men need more space and distance than women do. Be happy to allow him time alone. When he springs back it’ll be worth the wait.
- Men are far more sensitive to the tone of your voice than women are. When he feels like you’re blaming him it’s because there’s a hint of resentment in your tone.
- Men are primarily logical and will take their time to make decisions. Give him as much time as he needs. This is how it should be.
- When he gives you a compliment it’s a gift. Let him know how much it means to you.
- A man desires to give to you. In order for him to do this, you must give less and be willing to receive more.
- Men feel just as deeply as women but they don’t always know how they feel. Don’t push him to open up. Express your own feelings and open your heart to create closeness.
- Men will do just about anything for a woman that knows how to influence him with warmth.
- If a man forgets something that’s important to you it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Since men are more compartmentalized these are two different things and not necessarily related.
- A man can only sustain love for a woman that follows her own heart above all else.
- A man loves it when you can have fun and flirt with him.
- Men think and love differently than woman. Don’t make him wrong. Celebrate your differences instead.
- He doesn’t want or need to understand you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
- If you treat him like a man, he’ll cherish, desire and make you his number one priority.
As a psychotherapist in Toronto I work successfully with many women that would like to be happier in their relationships with men. One of the most frequent requests I get is to provide facts about guys emotions to have an easier time figuring out what’s going on when there are misunderstandings.
For example, in my therapy practice, an interaction women mention they find confusing is when she expresses frustration about something, her guy doesn’t say very much or becomes silent. A couple of things are likely going on here. First, when a guy is upset about something he usually wants time to himself, so he thinks he’s actually being considerate by not saying much and leaving you alone and second, often your frustration has something to do with him and if you haven’t taken the time to get centred and breathe before speaking there is probably a tone in your voice (See #9 above).
If you experience any of these types of misunderstandings, counselling and psychotherapy can definitely help to make you feel more confident and less anxious in your relationship. Offering information and specific scripts for how and when to communicate can make all the difference.
Stay tuned for the next article in our Facts About Men series where we share 20 More Facts About Men coming this Summer 2019.
Let us know what therapy tips you’d like us to share to help you be more successful in your relationship.