Susan Blackburn Psychology

Relationship Transformation

It takes clarity and a fresh perspective to solve problems and make decisions that will bring you and your partner greater happiness.

Look within yourself to build a new and desirable dynamic. Being aware of your part in your relationship interactions is empowering. If you don’t see how you contribute it will be difficult to create lasting change with your partner.

For example, your partner is inattentive and overly involved with work. Look carefully at what is going on in your own life at the same time this is happening.

This is not about placing blame, but about being empowered. Recognize that much like a pebble being skipped across a lake, each action you take, no matter how small, has a ripple effect on your partner. Are you involved with meaningful work of your own? Are you nurturing your relationships with family and friends? Have you made self-care a priority in terms of your emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual well-being?

It’s difficult to focus on yourself. But in doing so, you connect to your strengths and take the focus off of your partner. Use the time when your partner seems to be preoccupied elsewhere to focus on learning new and interesting things, exercise and eat food that revitalizes and invigorates you. Spend time honoring your true self by doing things you love to do and enjoying activities that align with your personal values and goals.

Instead of relying on your partner to bring you a certain measure of happiness, entertain yourself by getting together with friends and family members that make you feel secure and loved. Cultivate new hobbies and passions or revive old ones. Looking within to provide yourself with a solid foundation of love, security and joy is the most rewarding and only real way of attracting and sustaining unconditional love.

Your partner can then partake in the good stuff with you… the laughter, the fun and the dreams. It is not your partner’s job to take care of you. Your partner’s job is to treat you with kindness and respect, which means to honor who you are, how you do things and what you desire.

You’ll know you’ve attained a strong inner core and a life that’s vibrant and meaningful in a number of ways. Most importantly, the shift you will have created will bring your previously distant partner closer. At first your partner will draw nearer simply to see what happened to you.

Your significant other will want to know why you’re no longer needy for time and attention and why you’re so happy. Don’t be surprised if the tables turn in your favor. Instead of ‘rewarding’ your partner by dropping your new life, continue doing what you were doing when the distance decreased and don’t stop. Not now and not ever. Having a real zest for life is magnetic and will keep your partner within fairly close proximity. In the meantime, you will have created an interdependent life that doesn’t require a partner and leaves only your desire for one.


Susan Blackburn

Susan Blackburn

About Susan Blackburn:

Susan Blackburn, M.A., C.Psych. is a Registered Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Therapist in Toronto at Yonge Eglinton, a Published Author and a guest Relationship Expert on radio and television.

Susan enjoys working with people to enhance the quality of their lives. Her collaborative psychotherapy and counselling approach offers clients effective tools and strategies to increase happiness, manage stress, find balance, improve confidence, embrace self care and focus on the positive so that they can relax and enjoy life.

Services are covered under most extended health benefits and workplace insurance plans requiring clients be seen by a Registered Psychologist through her registration with the College of Psychologists of Ontario.

Susan is the owner of Susan Blackburn Psychology a boutique therapy private practice located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.

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