How to Increase Your Self Worth

Self worth is a bit like a butterfly.

Have you been exhausting yourself trying to convince your partner to spend more time with you?

Does it seem like your significant other doesn’t know a good thing when they see it?

Why won’t they just stop doing their own thing and start showing you how much of a priority you are?

I’m not suggesting that you aren’t amazing and that your relationship isn’t a great one, but should being in a relationship take so much work?

I’m wondering if it’s possible that you doubt just how much of a great catch you are.

The effort you spend trying to convince your partner of just about anything is exhausting and often makes you consider your worth.

You are enough. You are intelligent. You are attractive and you matter. But when we start to question those things, this very act of self-doubt makes us a little less appealing.

In other words, you are fine but your thoughts about yourself and the conclusions you are coming up with about yourself are not.

Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well. ~ Naya Rivera

When you’re really confident about something, you don’t waste your breath trying to change anyone in to a believer. You simply go about your business trusting and having faith in your worth.

When you’re amazing, but you doubt that it’s true, your partner senses this doubt and as a lovely of a person as they may be, it is human nature unfortunately to take people that don’t know their own value, for granted.

Your partner knows how valuable you are, but when you go to great lengths to prove your value, its natural for your partner to step back and question it.

The subconscious thought process is something like this: I know that my partner is wonderful, but they don’t seem to know this… maybe I misread things here… after all they know themselves better than anyone else.

When you don’t believe in your worth it’s your faulty thinking that is creating all of the problems.

In this situation, instead of convincing your partner that you’re great and your relationship would be great if only they would make it a priority, the person you need to start convincing that you’re so great, is yourself.

You need to show yourself how amazing you are, how much fun you can be and how inspiring the dream you have for your future really is. This actually sounds like a pretty tall order to fill!

It does definitely take some doing to prove your value to yourself. The difference is that you cannot convince others of your worth, but you sure can convince yourself. Only you truly know who you are and what you need to be happy.

It’s your job and your responsibility to take such great care of yourself that all of your needs are met and your significant other is just the icing on the cake. You are the whole cake though, the solid foundation, the unshakable force.

To catch the butterflies and the rainbows of your dream, walk alone, keep faith in yourself, focus your energy and start the adventure. ~ Amit Ray

To build your self worth, practice becoming aware of your negative self-talk, and then focus on changing that voice to one that encourages you, loves you and is essentially, your best friend.


Susan Blackburn

Susan Blackburn

About Susan Blackburn:

Susan Blackburn, M.A., C.Psych. is a Registered Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Therapist in Toronto at Yonge Eglinton, a Published Author and a guest Relationship Expert on radio and television.

Susan enjoys working with people to enhance the quality of their lives. Her collaborative psychotherapy and counselling approach offers clients effective tools and strategies to increase happiness, manage stress, find balance, improve confidence, embrace self care and focus on the positive so that they can relax and enjoy life.

Services are covered under most extended health benefits and workplace insurance plans requiring clients be seen by a Registered Psychologist through her registration with the College of Psychologists of Ontario.

Susan is the owner of Susan Blackburn Psychology a boutique therapy private practice located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.

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