How to Have the Best Valentines Day

Are you wondering what you can do to have the best valentines day yet?

I’ve split this post into three parts, with the first section if you’re spending Valentines Day with your significant other, the second section being a little bit “complicated” and the third section if you’re spending it celebrating you!

Spending Valentines Day with Your Significant Other

If your significant other is lucky enough to have your company for Valentine’s Day, go into  the day without expectations. Expectations have a way of creating disappointment when things inevitably don’t go exactly as you planned.

Instead, be in the moment and choose to focus on the positive. Remind and affirm to yourself statements such as:

“I’m focused on making this a really great day!”

“I am determined to see positivity throughout my day.”

“Today is a going to be an amazing day.”

“I’m committed to bringing happiness to everyone that I can today.”

I’m grateful that I get to spend today with my significant other.”

Plan to appreciate, trust and respect him or cherish, desire and make her your #1 priority today.

Ensure you actually ‘have it to give’ with whatever you give so that you don’t give more than you’re prepared to get and don’t take more than you’re prepared to give. This is not about keeping score; it’s about maintaining clarity and balance within the relationship.

This means that if you don’t get a thank you, a return gift or any appreciation you won’t mind because the pleasure for you is in the giving and not the exchange.

For example, if you’re preparing a fabulous meal and your beloved doesn’t show up or is late, you won’t mind because the pleasure for you is in the preparation and how wonderful it will taste when you sit down to enjoy the meal. If you discover you gave something and you ended up being disappointed the way to counteract this is with self-care. The more you give to you, the more you can give to the one you love, genuinely, expecting nothing in return.

Spending it or Hoping to Spend it With Your Significant Other and Being Tempted to Tear a Strip Off of Your Valentine

If you’re expecting someone special to get you flowers, candy, jewellery, take you to dinner or even simply wish you Happy Valentine’s Day and this doesn’t happen either at all or to your liking, handle it with kindness and respect.

This is the time to choose being happy over being right. Consider saying “I’m sure you didn’t realize how important Valentine’s Day is to me (or how much I wanted such and such etc.”, ” I’d really love to celebrate it together even if it has to be another day”. Don’t spoil your day and/or an otherwise good relationship over a Valentine’s Day mishap.

If you’ve planned a romantic night out, and your Valentine comes home late, is tired and is less than enthusiastic about your plans, instead of losing your mind, consider saying something like “I don’t know if you realize how excited I am to spend Valentine’s Day together. Even though we’re off to a late start, I’d love to put it behind us and make the most of it”. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Why? Well, because it works!

If you feel it’s important to stand your ground, in a kind and respectful way, say “I’d love to get a phone call next time so I can change my schedule if needed.” (and leave it at that).

If your beloved falls asleep before you can make love (ouch), definitely don’t let this ruin your evening. A conversation of any sort is obviously out! I know you’ll be tempted to wake your partner up and I would encourage you to reconsider. Make love to yourself instead (seriously, it’ll be more rewarding than anything you’ll get from your partner – and don’t take it personally – imagine how exhausted your partner must be to resist you!).

Spending the Big Day with You

If you’re lucky enough to be spending this day alone, decide to make it a good one!

Some ideas to celebrate include going out with friends and having a blast, curling up with a good movie that’s guaranteed to make you laugh, spoiling yourself in the way that only you know best, volunteering to help others out and spread love in the world, make your favorite meal complete with appetizers and a yummy Valentine’s dessert. If you desire a significant other in your life, loving yourself wholeheartedly is the surest way to make yourself magnetic for ‘The One” that’s out there. “The One” can’t find you until you open your heart and really start living!

On that note, here’s to you and to celebrating love. Happy Valentine’s Day!


6 Responses

  1. Congratulations! I am so thrilled for you! The best is yet to come… you are an inspiration. Happy Valentine’s Day!!

  2. Your opinions could not have been demonstrated in a more thought inspiring way. I commend you on the rigorousness of this post. Thanks.

Susan Blackburn

Susan Blackburn

About Susan Blackburn:

Susan Blackburn, M.A., C.Psych. is a Registered Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Therapist in Toronto at Yonge Eglinton, a Published Author and a guest Relationship Expert on radio and television.

Susan enjoys working with people to enhance the quality of their lives. Her collaborative psychotherapy and counselling approach offers clients effective tools and strategies to increase happiness, manage stress, find balance, improve confidence, embrace self care and focus on the positive so that they can relax and enjoy life.

Services are covered under most extended health benefits and workplace insurance plans requiring clients be seen by a Registered Psychologist through her registration with the College of Psychologists of Ontario.

Susan is the owner of Susan Blackburn Psychology a boutique therapy private practice located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton.

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