Are you aware of how sensitive your man is to the tone of your voice?
Your choice of words is important, but it’s keeping your tone calm, even when you’re upset that will allow him to actually hear what you’re saying.
Men are often more sensitive to tones than women are.
Having a kind and respectful tone is necessary if you’d like him to be on the same page as you, so to speak. Not because it’s the right thing to do and certainly not because he deserves it (he might not), but because it’s effective.
When you speak to your partner in a way that is appreciative, trusting and respectful he’ll be inspired to meet your needs.
You didn’t mean to sound blaming, resentful or frustrated. But it just flew out of your mouth!
The only way you can keep your tone of voice kind and respectful is by keeping your level of energy high and your build-up of resentment, low.
Everyone has an internal setting with an energy reserve on one-side and a resentment bank on the other. Too often your energy is on low and your resentment is a lot higher than you’d like it to be. Your tone comes directly from this inner wellspring of energy/resentment and it’s always an accurate barometer.
Having a neutral, if not a warm tone is not always as easy. This is especially true if your partner hasn’t given you much reason to be appreciative lately.
To soften your tone, make yourself more of a priority and say no to requests from your partner that burden you or make you uncomfortable. Spend time being creative, relaxing and having fun. This will increase your energy, which naturally starts to get rid of your resentment.
Being able to speak in a kind and respectful manner reflects your lifestyle and your level of self-care. What can you do to increase your laughter, happiness and relaxation?
Chances are you are responsible for too many things in your life: work, kids, family, friends, and committees. The list never ends! How can you relieve yourself of some of your responsibilities to lighten your load and free up some time for fun?
Kind and respectful communication (sans tones) is that much easier when your needs are being met and you’re living with balance, passion and purpose.