A man can’t make you happy, but if you know how to make your requests appealing, he can and will meet your needs and add even more happiness to your life. Your general level of happiness is an inside job that is entirely up to you. While you take care of that, allow him to lighten your load and assist you with creating extra happiness and the fireworks in your life. This he can do out of desire rather than obligation (the death knell of romance).

You are the only one that can create happiness for yourself by committing to a life that you’re passionate about… a life that best expresses your authentic self.

Do you think that if he would pay more attention to you, be more romantic and help you out without being asked, that you’d be happy? If you are already happy then you would become happier that’s true. It’s also true that all of these things are important in a loving relationship. Yet, the lack of these things cannot deflate you and shake you to the core if you’ve built a solid and loving emotional, mental, physical and spiritual foundation for yourself.

So, if you’re currently unhappy and you remove your man from the equation you will still be unhappy. Similarly, if you are unhappy and he does change his behavior you will be pleased with the positive changes, but it won’t be long before you’ll eventually feel unhappy again. You will remain unfulfilled until you empower yourself to take 100% responsibility for your circumstances and state of mind. This includes committing to a life where you come first so that you can serve your partner and those you care about generously and with an open heart.

The happiness your partner can provide is the amazing icing and cherry on top, but not the whole cake.

Men are like the Universe in terms of getting your needs met. You need to take action in the direction of your dreams, engage in extreme self-care and making yourself a priority. Then you need to express your needs clearly (a.k.a. actually ask in a direct manner that leaves no doubt, for what it is you’d like).

For instance, if you don’t feel like lifting a finger around the home for the next few days because work has got you frazzled, instead of complaining and blaming him he needs to hear, “I’m feeling overwhelmed and burdened.”, “I would love to come home and just put my feet up and relax.” Speak to him in a kind and respectful manner in a way that invites him to support you and assist in whatever way he chooses. Just like with the Universe, it’s essential that you relax and surrender control by leaving the how, when and where up to him.

Nothing is more important to your partner than making sure you’re content, but he needs clear direction, in a way that is appreciative, trusting and respectful.

He wants to have the most important support role in your life. Are you ready for that? If you are, you might consider starting by saying yes the next time he asks you if you if he can carry those bags for you. Let him make your life easier! I know you don’t need (obligation) him to do this for you, but my goodness, don’t you do enough as it is already? Let him lighten your load (desire) — I guarantee he is more than willing to do so.

This is the give and take of love. If you’re like most women giving love is a lot easier than receiving. Are you ready to step into the complimentary leading role in your relationship?

When you know how to speak to him gracefully with an open heart, he will desire to offer you his best. He will support your foundational happiness, but no man will ever be more than the decadent icing and fabulous cherry on top. The foundational love (the metaphorical cake) is entirely up to you. Asking him to be responsible for the entire cake is a little much, don’t you think?